Forgotten
by H20xSpelboundfanx
Summary: Pre Gossip Girl, This story is about how Eric came to be suicidal and how everybody dealt with how he recovered. Some of it my follow the episodes in Gossip Girl, but most of it won't. Slash. Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl :(
1. Chapter 1

Gossip Girl – Forgotten

 **Set pre the start of Gossip Girl this story is about how Eric tried to kill himself.**

Eric Van Der Woodsen was like you're typical teenager, well typical if you count living on the upper-East side Manhattan. But life was not as perfect as it seems. To be honest it was far from it.

Eric's mother Lilly Van Der Woodsen had just gotten a divorce from her third husband, and to be honest with you. Eric though that he wasn't much of an improvement from the second husband. So Eric was quite frankly pleased that he was going to be out of the picture. This also meant that hopefully his Mom would find the time to spend some quality Mother and Son bonding time with Eric before she found her next husband, which was highly likely. But unfortunately for Eric that wasn't case, it felt as though for Eric that she was trying to avoid him and it wasn't the first time that this type of behaviour has happened.

Looking back Eric thought where it all went so wrong. And it hit Eric like a nail on the head, he exactly where it went wrong and there was no way he could repair it. The damaged had already been done. It started when his Mom and his biological Dad, Lilly's first husband had gotten a divorce.

Everything was perfect up until then, they would sit down at the dinner table and have family meals. They would also discuss what they had been doing that day and even talked about their problems that they might had going on. However, after the divorce things started to change quite dramatically. There Dad moved out of the family home and said that he would call them every week and check up on how his kids where doing. Needless to say that his Father never did that and soon after that Eric decided that his Father was a lost course.

Then there was his sister Serena, who in a few short months like everything else in his life had changed. Although Eric could tell that she cared for him, however, there was much more important things on her mind like sex, drugs, parties and social gatherings. And when it came to those Eric was the last thing on her mind. And the worst part was that it felt like everybody has forgotten him. Even Serena's friends who Eric knew never really cared for him in the first place. But they would always pass him and say hi to him or ask how his day had been. But they never did that anymore and neither did anybody else. He just wished someone would ask him how was your day or how have you been. But nobody did, sometimes he would fell himself going mad and just wanted to end it all


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Eric walked slowly into the apartment he shared at the palace hotel with his Mom and his sister. Eric wondered why he had come home at all, it wasn't like anybody would miss him. To be honest they would probably throw a party due to the fact that he wasn't there anymore, Eric thought. As Eric looked around the apartment he knew that nobody would be home, nobody ever was.

Serena would always be hanging out with her friends or at some boyfriends house, to be honest Eric didn't know whether you could call it a boyfriend, Serena would always have a new one every week. On the other hand his Mom would always be at work or a social gathering, which meant Eric would be home alone for hours. This also meant that would have to make his own meals.

It wasn't so bad, Eric thought. But the problem was that it was becoming an increasable occurrence on a regular basis. Normally, Eric thought that it would be okay once in a while but he was only 14 years old and no 14 year old should be having to make his own meals every single night.

It was probably one of the many reasons why Eric started cutting himself. 1. Because he was lonely. 2. Because he was differently going made. 3. Because it would be better for everyone if he was out of the picture. So he slowly made his way over to his bathroom. He reached for the cabinet, which kept all of the supplies that he needed. Thankfully, no one ever looked in there and if they did they wouldn't find anything unusual, Eric made sure of that. If they happen to look inside there they would just see regular bathroom stuff. Eric looked in there and picked up the sharpest razor that he could find possible and started cutting along his left arm. Boy that felt good, Eric thought. It was like heaven, all of the pain that he had been experiencing had gone away, he could use it, Eric thought.

After half an hour of cutting his wrists Eric felt a lot better than he had done in a good several months. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but it made him feel so happy and it helped him forget about the world that he lived in and the people around him, or the lack off. It made him feel so happy that Eric decided that he was going to order a Chinese takeaway, so that is what he did. He didn't want to brother cooking a meal because that would just remind him about what his life was really like.

About half an hour later, Eric was watching TV when the doorbell rang, guessing that it was his Chinese, Eric got up and took his mother's credit card of the side table, which was where she had left it. To be honest Lilly Van Der Woodsen had so much money and so many credit cards that Eric thought his mom would never notice a few dollars going out of her account or even that one of her millions of credit cards would have gone missing. After he had paid for the food, well his mom had paid for it. He sat down and eat a meal and finished it all off, which for some time Eric hadn't actually managed to do. He had put it down to being depressed and not wanting to eat, and because of that he had lost a considerable amount of weight. But then again no one would ever notice what he was doing anyway.

By the time it was 9:00pm Eric left absolutely exhausted, he turned off the TV and slowly made his way to his bed. He hadn't been happy for a long time, and tonight for once he felt like himself again, maybe things will get a little better, Eric thought. Then he remembered earlier in the night when he was cutting himself, oh maybe, just maybe, he might just try what he did earlier tomorrow depending on how the next day went. Eric brushed he teeth and washed his face and put his PJ's on before getting into bed, and for once in his life he fell into a very peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next morning Eric woke up and wished that he hadn't because he felt the same as he had been feeling for the last several months. Just to check to make sure that last night wasn't truly just a dream and that for once in his life he was actually happy, he check his left arm. Slowly rolling up his sleeve and looking down, sure enough the scars from the night before where there.

Quickly, rolling down his sleeve just in case anybody was to come in. Not that anybody would, Eric thought. He then proceed to get dressed and go to the kitchen, he took one last look at his bedside clock and the time read 8:30am. It was a Saturday, which meant a whole of waiting around doing nothing or according to his mom he was just being a typical teenager.

He entered the kitchen, which was just across the hall way and sure enough his mom and Serena where already in the kitchen busy getting ready for their jammed packed filled day. Eric quietly got himself some toast and a glass of orange juice. His mom and Serena hadn't even noticed him coming into the kitchen, they were too busy talking about their plans for today. Apparently, he mom was going to go on a lunch with a guy, no doubt that he would become her further husband within a matter of weeks, whilst eating his breakfast Eric sat and thought about what he was going to do that day. However, before Eric had even finished his breakfast Serena and his mom where both out of the door to get on with the rest of their lives, and they certainly didn't involve himself, Eric thought.

Not long after the pair had gone Eric put everything used back away or in the kitchen sink and Eric hoped that today was going to be a better day, he thought to himself. Due to the fact that he thought cutting himself was a last resort, so he tried to think of something to do that would take his mind of his life and cutting. 10 minutes later Eric had finally decided that he would give running a try. Not that he needed to lose the weight but it was an excuse to get out of the apartment and a way for him to listen to his music without being told off by his mother for having it on to loud.

With that 5 minutes later he was walking out of the doors that lead to the building of the Palace hotel, dressed in some running gear. It was only some trainers, a baggy top and running shorts and a zip up hoddie. Eric popped in his headphones and decided that he was going to run to the park where they had the ice ring for Christmas. The reason why Eric decided to the local park was because he was sure nobody would see him. Although most of Serena's friends went running it would be highly unlikely that any of them would be running at this time in the morning. It was more than likely that each and every single one of them would be running a hangover, at this point in time Eric thought.

Eric got the park about 15 minutes later and he felt alright. He really never minded running. He just never did it. The music helped, it always did but that still didn't the place of the pain he always felt. He was going to have to resort to cutting again, Eric thought.

At the moment Eric was just going in straight path where there was a bend going to the left that he was just about to take.

Once he rounded the corner he saw two people that he didn't want to see. Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald. They were looking slightly worse for wear but where still talking in high spirits by the looks on their faces. Eric quickly stopped and turned his back from them, he pulled out his iPod out from his pocket and change the track, not wanting to be seen by the two of them. He also wanted to hear what they were talking about and what his sister had been up to the night before. Just then he was roughly bumped into from behind.

"Hey, watch where you're going?" He said turning around to become face to face with none other than Chuck Bass.

"Well, not see you around for a while." Chuck said with that signature smirk of his.

To be honest with you, Eric was nervous, but tried to play it cool.

"I could say the same thing about you." Eric said and Chuck laughed, which made him even more nervous.

Although he was looking directly at Chuck, Eric could tell that Nate was examining very inch of his body, probably surprised by how much weight he'd lost. However, if you don't see somebody in ages, they do tend to change, Eric thought.

Not wanting to be there any longer, Eric quickly said, "Well, it was nice seeing you."

He started walking away, when Chuck said. "Well, I see you tonight."

"Uh?" I asked him turning around.

"You know the party that my Dad and and you're mom are hosting." Chuck said.

"Oh yeah, that one" I said looking down, acting like I knew what he was talking about, but at the same time my insides where dropping with every second that passed.

"Yeah, well I'll see you later." I said quickly and they both nodded and walked away.

My insides where turning and all that I wanted to do was to feel the razor on my skin again, I just had to get out of there. So I abandoned my run and headed straight back to the apartment.

When I got home, like always no one was there. But when I went into my room a new suit and a note from my mom where lying on the bed. Although, I didn't stop and read I headed straight for my bathroom and reached for the razor that I used yesterday because that was going to give me best result.

After reaching for the razor, I hesitated for a bit. Wondering what my life has really come to but then I remembered how good it felt. I knew once I started that would never be able to stop. I took one big deep breath in and closed my eyes, as I felt the razor touch my skin. The same feeling of happiness bubbled up inside me like it did before. I decided to be brave and take a look at my arm, I slowly opened my eyes and look down. What I saw took my breath away, it was like looking at something incredible, truly dazzling, and the bright lines that ran down my arm looked like a highway route on a map. The lines look like an adventure that I wanted to follow but sadly I knew that wouldn't happen.

Just then I heard the heard the apartment door swing open, I quickly wiped the blood of my sleeve with some toilet paper and hurried out of my bathroom to see who it was. When I walked into the living I saw Serena and Blair sitting on the couch. They turned around when I walked in.

"Hey, did mom get you, you're suit for tonight?" Serena asked me.

"Yeah." I replied. "It on my bed."

I said whilst walking over to the kitchen and grabbing some orange juice from the fridge, knowing full well that Serena wasn't truly bothered about what I had to say. I mean she had already turned her attention back on Blair and continued the conversation that they were having before. I took a quick sip of orange juice from the carton and made my way back into my room.

Once inside, I shut the door not wanting the be disturbed. I walked over to my bed and picked up the note that my mom had left me. It read,

" _Honey, here is the suit that I picked up for you to wear to tonight's party. The party starts at 8:00pm and there will car waiting to pick you and Serena up around 7:00pm. The party will be hosted by me and Charles's Dad Mr Bass. So make sure you will be there on time. Mom."_

Typical, Eric thought she is only half descent when she wants something and this time, she wants us to be on time. It will only be for one thing, her reputation.

For the rest of the Eric stayed in his room, playing computer games on his laptop. Praying that this day would be over sooner, so that he didn't have to endure the party for too long.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening Eric was dressed and ready to go and the only person he was waiting for was Serena. She was taking god knows how long, but Eric wished that she would hurry up because the sooner they got there the sooner the party would be over. The party was to start in less then 20 minutes. But nobody apart from the hosts would turn up on the dot. Eric's mom hadn't even been back yet, you would think that if she was hosting her own party that she would come and get ready herself. But from what Serena had told him or as little as she told him. Lilly Van Der Woodsen, had rented out the ballroom for the party and at the same time she had also booked room. So she can probably avoid him altogether, Eric thought.

Just then Serena popped her head from around from her bedroom door.

"Ready to go?" She asked Eric.

"I've been ready for about half an hour." I said.

And with that Serena rolled her eyes and walked forward, closing the bedroom door behind her.

"The car should be here in about 20 minutes." I told her.

" Great." she said and with that she walked over the fridge and pulled out a class of champagne, "Let's get this party started." She said with a yell of laughter. It was now my time to roll my eyes and she saw that.

"Awww, don't be such a party popper'" Serena said putting an arm around him, whilst taking a sip of champagne, Eric knew it wasn't going to be long before she was completely wasted and Eric tried not to think what she was going to be like, Eric had never actually seen his sister wasted. He had either been a sleep or she had stayed at a friends house, so that her mom wouldn't tell her off.

It's going to be interesting, Eric thought.

20 Minutes later...

Eric had just got a call from the car driver saying that he was waiting outside. Eric didn't know how he was going to get his sister out of the apartment let alone to the party, I mean seriously, Eric thought. How much alcohol can one girl drink in 20 minutes.

Eric decided that he would have do a last resort, and that was call Chuck Bass. He lived upstairs at The Palace Hotel, and Eric knew that he was going to one of the last ones to arrive at the party. Chuck Bass was always fashionable late. So Eric picked up Serena's phone from the counter top, Serena was currently lounging around on the couch in the living room. No 14 year old should be having to deal with this, Eric thought.

Even though Eric had Chuck's phone number in his phone, Eric knew that Chuck would pick up for Serena. Nobody would ever pick up for him, Eric didn't know why he had a phone sometimes. Then he remembered his Dad gave it to him, just right before he left. His Dad knew his mother wouldn't let him see his children, so he had gave Eric a phone. Serena already had one. Well that was a waste of money, Eric thought.

Eric was snapped out of his thoughts by Serena moaning, Eric ignored her. He found Chuck's number in Serena's phone quite easily. And dialed his

number, Chuck picked up just after two rings.

"Hello." Chuck said.

"Chuck, it's Eric we've got a bit of a problem. Could you come over to apartment." I said.

"What's the problem?" Chuck said.

"It's probably best, if you come and see it for yourself." I said sounding anxious.

Less then 5 minutes later, the door bell rang. I went over and opened and Chuck Bass entered the room.

"So where's the fire?" Chuck said.

I didn't say anything, only pointed to where Serena was lying on the couch. Chuck sighed, and shook his head, and walked over to the back of the couch and leaned over. Serena laughed in such a drunk sate, I didn't even think that she was going to make it the party, but I knew one thing she was going to be blaming for having the world's worst hangover and I dreaded to think how that was going to go down. I also dreaded to think about what my mom was going to say, when Serena was going to turn up already drunk at the party. Eric wasn't surprised that she wasn't high yet.

Just then Chuck turned around to me.

"There's no way, that she is going to the party." Chuck said serious.

"I think I guessed that already." I replied to him.

"How did she get so drunk?" Chuck asked me.

"Don't ask me, you're the one that parties all the time with her. Not me." I said angry, how could Chuck blame me. Serena is a human being and she can do stuff on her own accord, I decided to change the subject.

"So what are we going to do with her?" I asked Chuck not knowing what to do.

"Well we are going to call for some back up, with Serena in this state it's better if we have more hands on board." Chuck said.

"So how many times has Serena been like this?" I asked Chuck curious.

"To many times to think." Chuck said and with started dialing a couple of people. A couple of people being Nate and Blair. Luckily they only lived around the corner and where there in less then 10 minutes.

They pushed passed me out of way to go straight towards to Serena, completely ignoring me in the process. I let them get on with Serena, ignoring what she was doing. The apartment phone rang again, I picked it up. It was the car driver saying that he was going to leave if one of us didn't come down in the next fives minutes. I told him I would be down and left the others dealing with Serena. They didn't even notice that I had left.

45 minutes later, I was getting out of car and entering the party. The party was on the other side of Manhattan, the other posh side of New York. I knew my mom would be pissed at me but she wouldn't yell at me at the party. She would end up yelling the next morning.


	5. Chapter 5

Forgotten – Chapter 5

The party wasn't bad, Eric thought. But it wasn't enjoyable either. It was mostly full of his mother's friend and Bart Bass's friends. Chuck came about half an hour later with Nate and Blair by his side. Eric had tried to avoid his mother that night, knowing what she was going to do. So Chuck ended explaining why Serena wasn't there. Chuck just said that Serena wasn't feeling very well, he reckon it might have been some kind of food posing. Eric sighed, trust his mom to believe Chuck. But that did mean one thing, is that Eric might have been saved a lecture, but he highly doubted it. Lilly Van Der Woodsen had always managed to find something wrong to lecture Eric on. Even if it wasn't his fault.

Throughout the party he had noticed that like when he bumped into Chuck and Nate on his run, Nate was eyeing him whenever they were near at the each other at the party. And that made Eric feel really uncomfortable. It had also been clear that Nate had told Chuck about his suspicions and Chuck had begun to look at him curiously.

Chuck probably thought he had the right to look at Eric weirdly because after all everybody knew they were going to becoming step brothers in a few months' time. No doubt that Lilly Van Der Woodsen would want a quickie wedding and a month long honeymoon, it was always the same. Eric sighed.

He was currently lying on his bed in the apartment, thinking over the night's events. Of course it was actually an engagement party for Bart Bass and his mother but Eric wasn't really surprised at this news because he already knew this bit of information.

Eric was snapped out of thoughts by a beep on his phone. He knew what it was before he even looked at it. It was Gossip Girl, the only person who ever contact him but that was only because Eric had got signed up to the reminders on the website. Of which he thought everybody else had done, so he wasn't the only on.

It seemed that Gossip Girl had been around forever, he never knew how the website got started and how it become so popular. But ever since Serena had come back from her holiday it has gone wild with none stop updates and gossip. It seemed to Eric that there was a lot of things going on in his sister's life that he really didn't know. But there was something, Eric didn't know what. That Gossip Girl was hiding, which wasn't really like the person behind it. They loved spread misery and entertainment around for the whole world to see. Eric found it quite amusing.

Speaking of amusing. Eric decided he would give himself a little fun for once. Nothing ever fun happened around Eric, so he decided to make some for himself. It might even give a little something to laugh about. Eric couldn't remember the last time he laughed, I mean probably laughed. And Eric was hoping that this would give him a good chuckle.

He decided to email the Gossip Girl website, which was what anybody did when they had something important to tell everybody about. Eric knew nobody realized this yet. But Eric did. No matter how far up the school popular rakings they were, they were never the most popular person there. That was because it was Gossip Girl, everybody clanged onto every word they said. Without realizing it.

He went onto his phones internet. Eric had never contacted Gossip Girl before purely because there had never been anything to gossip about.

Eric searched the website, for the contact details and found the email and it didn't take as long as Eric thought. Eric started emailing the website by typing in the email, which was tips  Eric thought that was a strange email address to have. He thought. I mean why any on want tips for website would, Eric started typing out the email.

 _Dear Gossip Girl,_

Eric typed and paused for second wondering how he was going to explain his idea.

 _Wondered why Serena wasn't at Mr and Mrs Bass's party last night, well it seems that she had already been partying a bit too hard. And to think she was the only one wasn't keeping a secret. You should be wrong in thinking. It seems that Chuck Bass and Nate Archibald have a few secrets of their own. It's only a matter of them before they come out in the open._

And with that he sent the text, truth be told he wasn't quite sure what secrets Chuck and Nate had because he had only managed to catch a small snippet of their conversation in the park whilst he was running. But it seemed like they were up to something. 

However, sending the text didn't have the effect that Eric thought he would have had. He just felt just a miserable as always and the text didn't even make him laugh. Maybe he just have to wait before Gossip Girl posted something but Eric just couldn't wait. He needed. He really needed that blazed. Before Eric even knew it, he was crossing the room to his bathroom and opening the door of his bathroom cabinet and admittedly went for the razor. Pulling out the razor he took in a sharp intake of breath before putting the blaze back on his wrist.

At once it felt like the best feeling in the world, he felt happiness as though he had never felt it before, Eric was wondering why he hadn't thought of this before. Before he knew it he the time had flown by and he looked up at the clock in his bathroom. Eric was quite surprised to see that an hour had passed. For Eric it felt like he had only been cutting for about 5 minutes.

I looked down at my wrist and with horror I saw that blood was now dripping on the floor of the bathroom. I quickly cleaned up my wrist and waited for the blood to stop before I could clean up the blood on the floor. Eric didn't want any more blood on the floor than he had.

Eric quickly cleaned up the blood on the floor and the razor and put it back in the cabinet, before going back into his room and changing his shirt for a long sleeved baggy hoddie. Whilst putting on his hoddie he heard voices coming from the living room. Curious he went out and saw that Mr Bass and Chuck had come into the apartment along with his mom and Serena. They were all grossed in conversation and hadn't even noticed Eric had come in, nothing new Eric thought. Crossing across to the kitchen which was in the next room he got out a glass from the cupboard and filled himself a glass of water before sitting himself on one of the stools by the little island they had in the middle of the kitchen.

Just the four of them had come into the kitchen all still busy in their conversation, Mr Bass and Lilly Van Der Woodsen where talking about plans for the wedding and Chuck and Serena where talking about some party other, Eric wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying. All he wanted was that razor.

He was brought out of his thoughts by a pat on his back, he coughed swallowing the water that was just in his mouth. He looked to see Mr Bass with his arm around Eric shoulder. Eric admittedly tensed up and Mr Bass had obviously noticed that because he slowly took his arm away from Eric shoulder.

"Sorry about that Eric, didn't mean to scare you there." Mr Bass said to Eric making everybody else in the room look up.

"No worries Mr Bass," Eric said with a fake grin. "I was just in my own thoughts."

"Ahh, nothing to worry about Eric." Mr Bass said with smile. "Now, seeing as I'm going to your father you don't need to call me Mr Bass, call me Bart."

"Sure." Eric said sipping another a bit of water.

"Right." Lilly Van Der Woodsen said. "Shall we get started with tea?" She asked everybody.

Everybody agreed and then there was a sudden bustle of movement in the kitchen. Eric couldn't help but notice that Chuck still keep looking over at him whenever he could with curiosity.

Eric dreaded how long this meal was going to take all he wanted was that razor.


	6. Chapter 6

Forgotten – Chapter 6

The kitchen was busy with noise and movement, Bart had decided that he would make his signature meal for his new family. Lilly Van Der Woodsen had gotten her and Bart a glass of champagne to celebrate their engagement and had almost finished the first bottle. Eric didn't know how much alcohol his mother could down without getting a hangover but she seemed to be a pro at this, Eric thought.

Eric, Serena and Chuck where currently sitting in the living room each on their own couch watching some music channel but nobody was really paying that much attention to it. They had already done their bit for the meal, which was setting up the family dining table. Eric didn't really know why they were making so much fuss about having a family meal. It was probably going to be their first and their last one, Eric thought knowing from passed experience.

Making the dining table up only took about 5 minutes, so now the three of them where sitting on their couches in silent, all of them trying to think of what to see to each other. Although Eric was more thinking about how he was going to comfortable on his because all of his insides where screaming at him to go and get the razor from his bathroom cabinet. But he knew couldn't do it know, Eric just hoped that he looked like his was okay to the other two, otherwise they would be sure to question him and Eric didn't feel like answering any.

At the moment Eric wasn't really paying attention to anything, Chuck and Serena where bittering about something or other. On the other hand Eric was trying to focus on what was on TV that was until he felt something hard hit is face.

Looking up, he noticed that Chuck and Serena had both stopped bittering and where looking at him amused, looking down Eric noticed a cushion was on the floor.

"Eric!" Serena shouted at him, he got from the annoyance from her face that she had been trying to his attention for quite some time.

"You're away with the fairies today." Serena said to him, Eric admittedly threw the pillow back in her face when she said that making Chuck laugh and making Serena even more annoyed.

"We were just saying how Blair could be so easily won over with something nice, but we don't know what to get her. Do you have any ideas?" Chuck asked Eric.

"Why ask me, you two are best friends with her." Eric replied, which got him another pillow in the face from Serena.

"Not helping!" Serena replied. "Anyway, she comes round the house often enough, you can surely think of something."

"First off, I'm a guy." Eric replied chucking the pillow right back at Serena's face. "Secondly, you two know her better than me anyway, no offense, but I barely know her." Which made him get another two pillows in the face, this time from Chuck and Serena.

"Hey, what's this? Pick on Eric day?" Eric said whilst looking at both of them.

Chuck and Serena both smiled evilly at each other they were both on top of him. Eric didn't know how they got there but Bart and Lilly called them for dinner they were all currently wrestling each other for the pillows.

"Alright, alright. Settle down you three, dinner's ready." Bart said to the three of them.

The three of them separated and put the pillows back on the couch and went to grab some food and sat down at the dining table. Eric just realised that they hadn't had a family dinner in who knows how long, and Eric didn't know the last time he had felt this good, he felt like he was back to his old self.

However, within a few seconds he felt the same way he done in so long that he couldn't remember he felt normal.

"So what have you lot been up to lately?" Lilly Van Der Woodsen asked her children.

Chuck and Serena both started talking at once, whilst Eric just kept eating his food. He had to admit that this was a good meal that Bart had made and was one of the best meals he had ever had.

"Will you two slow down, and just breathe. We all know what you two have been up to, it's all over that Gossip Girl website that everybody seems to be obsessed with these days." Bart said to them.

All three of them spat their food out of their mouths looking shocked.

"How do you know about Gossip Girl?" Eric asked Bart.

The two adults smirked and Lilly was the first one who replied.

"Where not really as old or in the dark as you might think." Lilly said.

"Now that we know about the delightful things going on with you two, what about you Eric?" Bart asked looking at Eric, who looked quite shocked to be asked a question.

Eric replied. "You know, nothing much, just school, hanging out with friends, you know the usual." Eric started eating his food again.

"This is really good, by the way." Eric said smiling a genuine smile at Bart, hoping that this would help them change the subject, Eric really didn't want to be the centre of attention.

"And running." Said Chuck who had stopped eating his meal and was now looking at Eric.

Eric glared at Chuck, and Chuck just looked his calm self but this time you could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"Oh, when did you start running?" Lilly asked Eric.

Eric couldn't find the words, but Chuck spoke up before he could reply.

"Yeah, me and Nate where just walking around the park, just the day before you're engagement party. Catching up with the usual business. And then we happened to bump into Eric who was running." Chuck said not taking his eyes of Eric.

Eric glared at Chuck even more.

"I didn't know you've taken up running." Serena said to him. Eric shrugged and continued eating his meal. Feeling embarrassed and completely miserable.

"Yes, this is a really good meal." Serena said to Bart changing the subject much to Eric's relief. But Chuck still didn't remove his eyes from Eric. Feeling Chuck's eyes on him, Eric subconsciously pulled down his sleeve to cover up his scars, hoping at the same time no one noticed. But Chuck did.

Eric quickly finished his meal, downing his food in a few mouth fulls. Lilly and Bart where now back on the wedding plans, with Serena listening in.

Eric finished his last mouth full, "May I leave the table. I've finished." Eric said to Bart and his mother.

"Yes, yes, you may." Bart said and Eric got up and went over to the kitchen with his plate and glass.

"May I leave as well, I'm full." Eric heard Chuck say and with a scrapping of chairs he heard Chuck getting up from the table and walking over to the kitchen. Eric was currently washing up his plate, trying to ignore Chuck putting his plate on the side. Clearly wanting to talk to him.

"So how's the little brother?" Chuck said to Eric, whilst Eric carried on cleaning his plate. Ignoring the pain he felt from the water going on his fresh cuts.

"Don't ignore, I know something up." Chuck hissed at him grabbing a tea towel. "You're moody, nobody rarely sees you these days and you lost weight, a lot."

That was it for Eric. He slammed down the glass in his hand, which smashed on the counter top. "Nothing is wrong with me so just leave me alone, just stressed because I've got some exams coming up and why you are at it you can tell your friend Nate to spot looking at me because I know he thinks I've lost of weight and I haven't. And I know you didn't notice anything because you're too thick to do so." Eric spat at Chuck.

He admittedly knew that he had gone too far, knowing from the horror struck look on Chuck's face.

Just then Bart, Lilly and Serena came into the kitchen carrying their own plates. Eric slammed the tea towel down on the counter top. And glared at Chuck.

"I'm of to bed, I'm tired." Eric said and with that he stormed off to his room slamming the door behind him, leaving a stunned silence in the kitchen.


	7. Chapter 7

Forgotten – Chapter 7 

The next day Eric was laying on his bed going through the night's events in his head, which he seemed to be doing a lot lately. After his and Chuck's argument he and his dad had gone back to their apartment in The Palace, they weren't going to move into together until after the wedding. Eric was happy about that Lilly Van Der Woodsen and Bart Bass had decided to go slow and not rush into moving in together because from passed experience whenever his mother had been engaged to someone and had them move they never got near the wedding.

He eventually Eric got up from his current position upon hearing his mothers and Serena's voices coming from the kitchen. He walked slowly into the kitchen, taking up his usual routine. Going to the cupboard, grabbing a glass and pouring himself a glass of water in the meantime being completely ignored by his mother. But for once Serena noticed him and came over to him, whilst he was pouring a glass of water for himself. Eric knew by the look on her face she was going to ask him about what happened last night with him and Chuck. Although his mother would of just called it brotherly bonding.

"What where you and Chuck talking about last night?" Serena asked Eric.

"Oh, it was nothing really Chuck was just annoying me about what it was going to be like to have him as a brother." Eric said.

"I bet Chuck couldn't believe someone answering like that to him, like the way you did by the look on his face." Serena said smiling at him.

"Well someone had to take him down a peg or two." Eric replied smiling at Serena.

With that they carried on with their normal routines.

Over the next few weeks Chuck left him along, only to talk to him when the four of them where together, whilst at school Eric felt like he was becoming less and less visible. But when he was back at the apartment, he was still alone when he we there. His mother was spending more time at work, and when she wasn't at work she was planning her wedding with Bart and it came clear to Eric that when she didn't come home she was spending the night at his. It had also became clear to Eric that whenever someone asked his mom who was looking after him, she would just say that Serena was. But Eric didn't know where Serena was half of the time. Serena was usually doing god knows what with her friends, and speaking of Serena's friends, none of them even looked at Eric anymore. Sometimes Eric felt that they would even cross the street when they saw him walking on the same one.

Eric was getting more and more depressed as the weeks went on and even the cutting wasn't helping him anymore, it was merely becoming routine for him and it worked less and less each day he did it. He honestly didn't know what to do. Eric knew he should have told Chuck when he had the chance, but that chance had long gone.

He didn't really know what to do, Eric was currently sitting on some steps, not the usual school steps that everybody sat on the but ones that where no were near the school. To be honest he wasn't even sure what time it was, his phone had turned off because he forgot to charge it the night before and to be honest Eric was really bothered anymore, where he was going he wasn't going to need it.

Back at school:

The last bell of the day had gone and students where coming out of all the entrances the school had to offer. Serena was worried, she was standing on of the steps trying to look for her brother. They normally she each other a few times a day because they had classes in similar areas of the school. But Serena hadn't seen Eric since before 2nd period, Eric never missed school and he had the perfect attendance, so where was he?

Serena was brought out her thoughts by someone beside her, it was Blair.

"Hey, have you seen Eric today?" Serena asked Blair. Not caring whether she could hear the worriedness of her voice.

"No, I haven't. Why?" Blair asked Serena.

"Well, I haven't seen him since before 2nd period, and I'm worried about him, you know he's not been himself lately." Serena said.

"Yeah, I know. Chuck told me he was different." Blair said casually.

"Really?" Serena curiously asked.

"Yeah, Chuck said that Eric was really on edge that night you had your first family dinner." Blair said.

Serena didn't reply but only looked into the crowd of students that where walking out of school gates. But Eric wasn't among them.

"Could you call Chuck and Nate, and I'll call Dan to go and look for Eric, I just think he might do something stupid." Serena said.

Blair didn't reply but got on her phone and called Chuck and Nate, whilst Serena called Dan, soon people were looking for Eric.

"We better start looking for him, it's going to be getting dark soon." Blair said to Serena and they started to go and look for Eric.


	8. Chapter 8

Chuck, Nate and Dan had looked everywhere for Eric, they had searched all around Manhattan and had called every single person they knew. Many people were out looking for him now but nobody could find him. It was almost as though he had disappeared.

Serena was worried out of her mind she knew Eric wouldn't be at home she had checked there already so she had decided to stay at Blair for the time being.

"I'm sure he will turn up Serena, he's probably just in a mood and has gone off to cool himself down." Blair says reassuringly to Serena trying to help her but at the same time trying to convince herself as well.

Suddenly there was the sound of Serena's phone going off, she picked it up in a flash.

"Have you found him yet?" Serena said the note of panic very much edged in her voice.

Dan answered the call. "No we haven't we looked everywhere, are you sure he's not at your apartment maybe he came back when you left." He replied.

"Maybe I'll have a look for him there, could you and the others come as well." Serena says to Dan.

"Yeah, sure we are on a way now." Dan says and hangs up the phone.

Serena grabs her stuff and practically runs out of the door with Blair catching up behind her.

"Where are we going?" Blair asks Serena who was now frantically pressing the ground floor button of the lift so hard that Blair thought Serena might break it.

The pair of them raced to the apartment just in time to the three boys pulling up as well.

"Sorry about that, traffic was horrific." Nate said.

The five of the rushed up to the Van Der Woodsen apartment, Serena tried to open the door but found it was already open. The group rushed into the room.

"Eric." Serena shouted.

The others started looking, Serena saw that Eric's bedroom door was opened slightly and went over to it slowly not knowing what she found in there.

Serena pushed it opened even further and to her relief found Eric laying on his reading a book looking quite normal.

"Guys, I've found him. He's in his room." Serena shouted to the others. Who all came running to his room to make sure that he was really okay.

Eric looked up surprised to see them all in his room at once. He had got bored of sitting in the park alone. But he also wasn't stupid and knew that Serena had sent her friends out to look for him, which is what see always did. It wasn't out of concern for Eric, it was more to do with the family's reputation. Or more importantly his mom's reputation. So he had decided to trick them and for once make them look like they were the bad guys and it had worked to a T.

Eric was laying in some jogging bottoms, as well as a long sleeved top. Nothing really special. He looked up when Serena's friends came into his room. Without his permission. He put his book down and looked at every single on one of them in turn before saying something.

"Come and join the party." Eric said knowing full well that would annoy all of them.

"Eric that is not funny, you had us really worried. None of us could find you." Serena said sitting on the edge of his bed. Eric was not happy about that.

"Well maybe you just weren't looking hard enough." Eric said shrugging and going back to his book.

But before he could even had started reading the page that he had got to, it had been ripped out of his hands roughly by Dan.

"Hey, give the back." Eric shouted sitting up on his bed. Serena put a hand on his leg. But he quickly pushed hers of his.

"What is with you lot today, are you going mad or something?" Eric asked them angrily.

"No I think the question today is what is up with you, Eric." Dan asked curiously.

Eric got up from his bed and walked over to Dan furiously. "Oh please, yeah because there is something wrong with me. I mean look at you all. Interrogating someone 5 against 1 because that's normal. Why don't you lot get checked into the mental house then." Eric said furiously.

Nate put a hand on his shoulder, "Look mate, no one said anything about a mental house. Where just worried about you. You haven't been yourself recently." Nate said in a calm voice.

Eric shrugged Nate's hand off him. "Oh yeah because you lot know what I have been doing these past several months. I mean come on I haven't seen you around for at least a year and that goes for all of you." Eric shouted.

None of them spoke for a minutes. They all watched Eric furiously pace the room.

"Eric we care about you." Blair said stepping forward and holding onto this arm where his fresh cuts where.

Eric yanked his arm back instantly, "Well you've got a funny way of showing it." Eric shouted back, which took Blair by surprise.

There was silence in the room again. All of them had noticed the way Eric had jerked back when Blair had touched his wrist.

"Eric…" Blair began to say sweetly.

"Just get out. All of you. Just get out. I didn't ask you to come in here." Eric shouted pushing Dan through the door.

The group of them went out quickly and Eric slammed the door behind them.

Eric wasn't happy, he was furious. How dare they come into his room like and tell him what is best for him. Eric slid down the door slowly, he knew the others were still there. Eric started crying silent tears, he felt pathetic for crying but he just couldn't help himself. Besides for once it wasn't himself that drove him to this it was them lot. Why did they have to stick their noses into stuff that didn't concern them.


	9. Chapter 9

The others were standing outside of the door in complete and utter shock at what had just happened.

Serena almost had just about burst into tears at this point, put her hand on her forehead and walked into the living room where she sat down and put her hands in her heads. The others followed her slowly.

Despite how quietly Eric was crying they could still hear him sobbing his heart out behind the door of his bedroom.

"I just don't know what to do," Serena said almost crying.

Nate came and sat beside her and put an arm around her in comfort.

"Hey, will get through to him," Nate said whilst the others stood around the room wondering what to do next with Eric.

But before Serena could answer Eric's bedroom door came flying open banging against the door with a loud crashing sound which made everybody in the room jump out of their skins. Eric came casually walking out, eyes where red and blotchy and as he walked he pulled his sleeves as far down his arms where possible.

The others looked at him in amazement as Eric walked slowly across the hall way, it was a few seconds before anybody realised what he was doing.

Darting to the door Chuck blocking to lift putting both of his hands either side of the door frame, so that Eric couldn't get in it.

"Eric we need to talk about this," Chuck said not budding an inch, so that Eric couldn't get in any way shape or form.

"Look Chuck, I just need some air," Eric said slightly pleading to Chuck.

"So what, so you can disappear again?" Nate said coming up behind them, so that Eric didn't have a way out of this.

Eric didn't turn around to look at Nate but kept his focus firmly on Chuck.

"Well as I recall last time I wasn't the one who thought I had disappeared, you lot quite frankly jumped to conclusions," Eric said finally turning around to face Nate.

"Don't you dare, blame it on us," Nate said stepping close to Eric getting annoyed with how little Eric seemed to not care about anybody around him.

Eric gave a high sarcastic laugh that almost sounded cruel, "wasn't your fault, well that isn't the first time I heard that," rolling his eyes that it was every obvious to the pair of them.

Eric turned back to Chuck who was still holding the door opened with his hands, "Chuck, could you please step aside from the elevator, it's getting really stuffy in here,"

Nate and Chuck looked at each other and Eric realised that there was no way of getting out of this this talk that they were planning on having with him. So he gave into their demands sloughing his shoulders and walking slowly over to the couch where Serena was sitting with Chuck and Nate walking closely behind him, making him really uncomfortable.

As soon as he sat on the couch Serena put her arm around him but he shrugged her off straight away making her look at him in surprised. He felt amused at what he had just done and lowered his head down, not looking at any of them.

"Eric we just really want to help you, you haven't been yourself lately," Serena said trying to get to him to talk to them.

"I know your worried but you really don't need to, haven't you lot had exams before. You know what they do to people's brains," Eric said finally looking up at them.

"Well then you should have talked to us, we would have helped you with revision for them," Blair said sweetly.

"We didn't even know we had exams until a couple of weeks ago and even then I was still trying to wrap my head around then, and that's why I have been in my room all this time trying to revise," Eric said.

"So what about the running?" Dan asked him who was sitting on the couch opposite him.

"It was just a stress reliever," Eric said now directly looking at him.

"And not eating?" Nate asked him.

"I just lost track of time when I was doing revision, we also had extra sessions after school for those who were struggling," Eric said.

"Why didn't you just tell us the truth?" Serena said putting her arm around him again.

Eric didn't like it one bit but to get the others on his side he needed to enjoy it.

"I just felt stupid, that I was struggling to revise and I didn't want to look thick," Eric said hoping that would convince them.

"You've just should have asked for help, but we wouldn't have minded," Dan said.

"Sorry, I'm really am. Now I feel even more stupid then I did," Eric said putting his hands in his head.

"There's no sorry about it mate, everybody struggles at time. Even Chuck," Nate said.

"Oh," Chuck jokingly.

"I'm sorry about the other night Chuck, I really didn't mean what I said. Are we cool now?" Eric asked Chuck who was leaning against a pillar.

"Yeah, we're cool," Chuck said going over to Eric and Eric stood up and they hugged quickly.

"Thanks everyone, this has really helped a lot," Eric said looking at all of the others who were now all sitting on the couch.

Eric turned to go out into the elevator but stopped, "Oh and could you not mention my almost slight melt down to mom, she has already got enough to worry about without me on top of it," Eric said pleading with him.

"Don't worry, we won't tell a sole. It will be our little secret," Dan said winking and smiling to him.

Eric walked over to the elevator waited for to open and stepped. Turned around and smiled at his lucky escape.


	10. Chapter 10

Eric went to his usual favourite spot in central park it was just a bench that overlooked three places, the ice ring, the New York city sky scrapers and the rest of central park. So he had a good look over everything, it had almost become a look out for him for all of the times that he had come here and didn't know what else to do with his life. It was somewhere if he saw someone he knew coming he could quite easily get out of the way and them not see him.

Back in the Van Der Woodsen's apartment:

It had been just a few minutes after their invention of Eric and they were all practically in the same places that they had been when he had left them. Except the fact that Chuck was standing by the window looking over the view, which had a whole view of New York.

"He's gone to central park," Chuck said still looking at the view which showed Eric in central park sitting down a lonely looking bench. Chuck was sitting there keeping an eye on him with a scotch in one hand.

"Does anybody believe him?" Nate asked curiously.

"What do you mean?" Serena asked him slightly annoyed.

"Well about the exams and the stress, do you really think that is all true at all. I mean did you not hear him sobbing his heart out less than half an hour ago in his bedroom. And don't try to do deny it you heard him," Nate said.

"He's got a good point," Chuck said still not taking his eyes of Eric from the window he was looking at.

"But that doesn't make sense?" Blair said confused.

"Trust me, it does," Dan said. "Him and Jenny are in the same year at school and I know for a fact that there aren't any exams because Jenny hasn't mentioned anything to me or dad,"

"Yeah but can you really trust her all of the time?" Blair said.

"Blair, you can say that," Nate said.

"But it's true, no offense Dan," Blair said.

"She's got a point," Serena said.

"But they do have exams," Chuck said still not moving from his place in the window.

Everybody looked at him, all with curiosity in their eyes.

"Well not everybody can do it but Chuck bass gets what he wants and Mr Bass here managed to do the tinkling of the ivories with a certain sub teacher," Chuck said.

"WHAT?" Blair yelled at him standing up furiously.

"Keep your wig on, it was when we were on a break," Chuck said casually.

"Aren't you guys always on a break?" Dan asked the pair of them.

"That is none of your business Humphrey," Chuck said finally taking his eyes of Eric from the window.

"Guys, were getting off track here," Serena said really annoyed.

"Why don't we just lay low and just help with his exams and get him through the. She if it really is just stress and if it is not just stress then we can do something about it later," Dan said.

With that everybody agreed but Chuck still couldn't help but look back out of the window to see if Eric was okay and wasn't doing anything stupid because Nate did have a point even if nobody else wanted to believe it.


End file.
